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It's cold. It's past midnight. I was hungry. I was lazy.
The battle in my head:
Angel: "Don't even think about it. Whatever you eat now will go straight to ("she" was eyeing the bulges underneath my giant sweater and gave up)...ah what the heck! Go ahead. Make the devil's day"
Devil: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What an easy win!
"When you wanna do something wrong, you gotta do it right" - Joey Tribbiani from Friends.
The perfect crime would involve a huge steamy bowl of spicy noodles, with accessories such as cheese sausages, meatballs, topped with an egg. However, I couldn't even be bothered to turn on my stove, let alone wash the pots and bowls afterwards. The idea of toiling for my midnight crime almost had me crawling towards my bed, under my thick blankets.
Devil: Wait wait wait wait....(panicking)...you have some cup noodles! They are (almost) as delicious, and you DON'T have to do any cooking and washing at all! Just pour some hot water into the cup and you'll get what you wanted (all said in a very persuasive tone)
Me: You had me at cup noodles
Angel: You can still fix this! Just attend a body combat class, a hip hop class and an aerobic class back to back tomorrow! (I don't think that's ever gonna happen)
The spicy curry seafood cup noodles had me all thristy for more! I want something sweet to counter attack all the MSG action from the noodles. Hmmm, nothing's better than this tall glass of black cow. 
What the heck is a black cow?
Normally, we get coke/root beer float from A&W with vanilla ice cream, right? I first learnt about this black cow in Hong Kong's pizza hut.
Black cow = Coca cola + Chocolate ice cream float
What????!!! Yep. That's what I thought too. But, you gotta try it. It works.
Now, would you excuse me while I crawl back under my blanket and grow myself even bigger.
I am keeping it simple this time.
I love the four S(es) in food: Spicy. Sweet. Sour. Savoury.
Spicy = tiny bits of red chilli
Sweet = ripe pineapple, onion and green peas
Sour = still from the pineapple
Savoury = garlic and minced beef
This was done when sous chef was still in low iodine diet. I was amazed how little seasoning I had to add to make this dish flavorful. For your information, sous chef is now like a culinary prisoner on the loose, ravishing everything he was not allowed to eat. Ehm. That can't be good.
Easy Spicy Pineapple Minced Beef with Green Peas
Recipe
- 1 small ripe pineapple (you can replace it with canned pineapple, but it is best if you can get fresh, ripe pineapple), cut into bite sized chunks
- 3 chilli, chopped (adjust to match your heat tolerance)
- 1 onion, diced
- 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
- 1 lb minced beef
- 3/4 cup green peas
- olive oil, salt, pepper, sugar
Saute garlic, chilli, onion in hot oil until fragrant, throw in minced beef, you will see it change color, add pineapple chunks, add green peas, season, done.
You can also incorporate rice/noodles/pasta into this dish. Ah, it's more than just 4 S, it's SSSH! H for healthy ^_^ (oh man, can someone stop her from being so cheesy?).
My telephatical-mind readerish radar sensed that sous chef is sick of my cooking and will want KFC for tonight's dinner. Yum! Oh, maybe that's just me.
You won't believe how many disasters have happened in my kitchen. Disaster. Disaster. Disaster. Too many ot them! This is getting too boring, even for me. Sigh. But I feel the need to share the gospel with you guys. I MUST let you feel what I felt when I took a bite of this disastrous rice dish. MUHAHAHAHAHA!
What the heck happened?
From Raw to Mushy:
My Disastrous Spicy Chicken & Mussels Rice
It all started from one word: LAZY
If you heard any of the following phrases coming out of my mouth/appearing on my blog, they generally mean one thing:
"I don't have enough time" = lazy
"I want to create a one pot wonder" = lazy
"I want to try an easier/more innovative way to do this" = lazy
Cuting a long story short, I wanted a spicy rice dish, which include chicken and seafood of some sort (I chose mussels), and planned to dump them all into my wonderful and trustworthy rice cooker.
I prepared all of the ingredients:
- 2 chicken leg fillet, skin removed, cut into bite sized chunks
- 6 pieces of large mussels, remove from shell
- 200ml chicken stock
- 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
- 1 onion, diced
- 2 bell peppers, remove core, remove seeds, diced
- 1 small can of tomato paste
- 1 tsp cumin
- 1 tsp ground corriander seeds
- salt, pepper, sugar, chilli powder, olive oil, water
- 2 cups of rice
Here's the method that caused the disastrous rice:
Marinate chicken pieces with a bit of salt, pepper and olive oil. Pour rice grains into rice cooker, add chicken stock and water up to the required level, add everything else, mix and press "Cook" and wait until the rice cooker beeps, which means "Your delicious dinner is ready!"
Oh....I wish!
I opened the lid of my rice cooker after the beep, and I saw a beautiful looking dish. It was gloriously red, it smelt fantastic, the chicken meat looked succulent and juicy. Then I saw the grains of rice, and I knew something's wrong. They looked RAW. I took a bite. They WERE RAW!!! Uh oh! SOS! Helppp!!!
Luckily, sous chef has been distracted by Xbox 360, that bought me some more time.
I transferred half portion to a non stick pot and continue to cook it with low heat, stirring from time to time, tears dropping into the dish and probably made it tastier. The other half was left in the rice cooker, and I pressed "Cook" once more. Let's see if any of those two methods worked....
They didn't. Although I closely supervised the one cooking in the pot, the moment the rice's done, it was all mushy. Sob, it was probably because of all the tears. The other half in the rice cooker? Ditto. Sob sob. I actually love my rice rather mushy. However, this time, it is just beyond mushy. It's super mushy. Even I, the mushy rice lover, hated it. Oh gawd!
Did I throw the dish away? Nope. We still finished it. Apart from the super mushy rice, everything else tasted fantastic. Dammit. I will find another way to cook this dish.
I should be more careful in conducting my "experiments" in the name of laziness. I am hoping for less disasters this year (as none would be impossible).
Check out my other disasters here.
Previously, I bitched about what should be considered Indonesian food and decided to call some of my dishes "Indonesian". Recently, after reading hundreds of posts on my Indonesian friends' blogs, I realised that my so called "Indonesian" cooking (note the quotation marks and the phrase "so called") is the most unauthentic one in the whole galaxy, measured by traditional Indonesian standard. It hardly involves classic Indonesian ingredients such as galangal, bay leaves, turmeric, corriander seeds, cumin, candlenuts, tempe etc etc...and more often than not, the whole mix of exotic spices came out of an instant packet :p. The most Indonesian thing about the dishes is...the person eating it.
However, this time, no instant spice packet. It's not because of my determination to try cooking everything from scratch...but it's because there's no spice packet for Indonesian oxtail soup (or I couldn't find one). HAHA! Believe me, if there's one, I would buy it in a heartbeat.
I consulted my friend, whose oxtail soup received rave reviews and repeat orders from her husband's friends, and she gave me her recipe. I bet you a new kitchen that I won't be able to stay within the guidelines of her recipe...I was so sure of this(more than the sun rising in the East). I would definitely add this and that and ruin her true and tested recipe. It's my defect, really.
"Indonesian" Oxtail Soup
Indonesian oxtail soup is something extraordinarily simple, yet bursting with flavors. It's perfect after a long medley of dining out.
Recipe
- 1 lb oxtail (I bought frozen)
- 1 onion, roughly chopped
- 4 cloves of garlic, crushed
- 4 small tomatoes, cut into sections
- 1 potato, chopped into bite sized chunks
- a pack of straw mushrooms, quartered
- 1 sprig of spring onion, chopped
- a dash of nutmeg
- olive oil, salt, pepper, sugar, hot water, vinegar, corn starch
I am using pressure cooker for this, but you can cook it slowly in a regular pot. Boil oxtail for a few minutes to get rid of excess fat and quickly defrost it, drain, cut off excess fat, set aside. Season oxtail chunks with salt, pepper, sugar and dust with a bit of corn starch. Brown oxtail chunks in a bit of hot oil, add onion chunks, garlic, tomatoes, potato chunks, add hot water. Season with salt, pepper, sugar, vinegar and nutmeg, cook for about 20-25 minutes (in a pressure cooker. Or 1.5-2 hours in a regular pot, with low heat, until meat is falling-off-the-bone tender). Release steam off pressure cooker, add mushrooms, cook for about 5 minutes, adjust seasonings if necessary. Serve with steamed rice, kecap manis and garnish with chopped spring onion and fried shallot.
You aren't as lazy assed as me, you could whip up some perkedel (fried potato cakes) or bakwan jagung (fried corn fritters) to eat with this dish. But generally...
...this Indonesian is pretty happy with this unauthentic dish *grin*
How do I dress Indonesian without batik? Check it out here.
Love. Oh, love. If there's something that can make everything sweet and delicious, it's gotta be love.
What could be more perfect than ending the year by celebrating love? Well, that...and hanging out with your closest friends, laughing at the bride and groom's childhoold pictures, trying to get the groom drunk...generally eating, drinking and being merry (kindly note that merry = drunk. HAHA!). Thus, when we were invited to our dear friend's wedding on December 31st, we gladly agreed to attend. It surely beats surviving the crowd, snuggling and sniffing a bunch of strangers trying to get a glimpse of the fireworks display at the harbour.
Like preparing for a major date, we...and by we, I meant the girls...and the Hong Kong metrosexual guys, got our hair done, our face all dolled up, put on our best outfit and our bling blings, stepped into our heels, flung our dainty little purses (or in my case, a giant camera bag), and marched to the venue. Pictures taken, guestbook signed, pleasantries exchanged, and soon we were ready for more!
In most Hong Kong weddings, you don't get a real cake. The generic cake is usually a permanent fixture of the restaurant. So, yeah. You will probably see the same cake in other couple's wedding pictures. Well, as long as none of your in-laws tried to gnaw on the foam cake or lick the "icing"...I guess it's perfectly fine, eh?
One of the "brothers" (the best men), Mr C, brought his own bottles of wine to get the party started. Nothing gets the crowd merrier than gulps of wine on empty stomach. Yeah, baby! Fortunately, before the place started to look all woozy and the jokes started to get a little too funny...the dinner service began.
The Classic Hong Kong wedding menu boasts abundance of the highly coveted, luxurious Chinese delicacies. The whole banquet symbolises love, happiness, longevity and fortune. The idea of googling the symbolic meaning of the whole banquet was so tempting, and it would have made everything so easy! However, I chose to write this article based on what I could gather from my friends, who are all young Hong Kongers (hanging out with the youngsters make me young too-I hope). Let's see how knowledgeable they are, shall we?
Below, you will find the title of the dishes as they were written in Chinese on the menu, translated into English by my local friends. The Chinese traditional menu is not the easiest thing to translate, but they've tried their very best and had a lot of fun. To my friends, although the dishes sounded corny and cheesy as hell, but they still appreciate the meaning and romance.
So, boys and girls, let's dig in!
The Extremely Lucky Suckling Pig
I surely considered myself extremely lucky to have tasted this delicious roasted suckling pig. The skin was cracklin' crispy, and the meat was tender and flavorful. I was told that the lil' piggy also symbolises the bride's virginity...ehm *clearing my throat*...I think I should stop this topic right here.
Jade Scallop and Coral Freshwater Mussels
Stir fried succulent scallops and crunchy coral freshwater mussels served on a bed of broccolis. I used to hate the mussels, but let's face it, I used to hate everything other than fried chicken. Simply because I didn't give anything a chance. I've tried them again on the wedding, and they were crunchy and tasty. Love it!
Golden Mother and Son Shrimps
Deep fried whole shrimps combined with minced shrimp cake (thus the "mother and son" title), served with creamy mayonnaise. They are delicious, and they symbolises happiness as the pronounciation of shrimps in Chinese is "har" and "HAHAHA" means happy!
Dried Scallops with Double Jade
Dried scallops cooked with whole straw mushrooms, served on a bed of premium snowpea shoots (dao miu). The dried scallops flavored the dish perfectly.
Kings of the Ocean with Shark's Fin Rich Soup
This soup tasted fantastic and it is extremely expensive. That's why it symbolises wealth. Imagine being so rich, you could bathe daily in a tub of shark's fin soup...oh my! You'd probably stink, though *grin* get away from me.
I love mine with a little punch of vinegar. Fierce!
King of Oysters Thick Soup with Sliced Abalone with Greens
Another plate full of treasures. The abalone slices were cooked perfectly. I used to think they are rubbery, but these babies are tender! The oyster sauce was rich, which was balanced by the lettuce (san choi), which symbolises ever growing money.
When the abalone was served, there was a round of toasts. This is where we try to get the groom and his entourage drunk. The bride and groom and his entourage of family members, best men and bridesmaids will visit each table and they will be forced to drink themselves silly! Normally the groom's entourage will protect the groom from getting drunk by taking turns to take over the drinking duties. Tables of colleagues and closest friends would have none of it! They want the groom drunk. So, no getting away with drinking tea and coke mix. It's alcohol all the way! Yam Seng!!!
Steamed Deep Ocean Garoupa
Fish is pretty much a permanent star in every Chinese play. It symbolises abundance, and we just love munching on the velvety smooth meat and spitting out the bones. Yuck? Yummm!!!
The Palate Cleanser
Nothing washes off the taste of fish and everything else like a cup of good ol' tea.
Crispy Skin Grilled Chicken
Ahhh! My favorite! Tender, moist and tasty meat with crispy golden skin, dipped into dark soy sauce. The chicken head might creep you out, but I love digging the brain out, I heard it could make me smarter. Plus, serving the chicken whole also symbolises wholesomeness.
Dried Scallop Fujian Fried Rice
So far, there's something missing. Yeah, the carbs. The fancy carbs come in two different forms, this luxury dried scallop Fujian fried rice...and....
Double Happiness Fried Noodles
Not only it signifies longevity, it bolsters our tummy and neutralises all the excess alcohol intake. Talk about carb comfort!
Hundreds of Good Years Together
Only such a big bowl of sweetness could carry the sweet name. Red bean soup with nuts, lily bulbs, cooked in aged dried orange peels.
Together Forever & Universal Fresh Fruit
We wish the happy couple to be together forever, as signified by the walnut cookies and Chinese smiley cookies (the one with sesame seeds). My friends argued over the title of "universal" fruit. The title either refers to the wholesome round shape of oranges...or was it a typo? I tend to lean towards whatever sound good...so I'd go for wholesome and fortune, always!
To love, happiness, longevity, fortune, and all the other good stuff!
We ended 2008 with love, and most importantly, with a beginning of years of love and happiness everlasting.
Congratulations to the happy couple, Alex and Idy, and thank you for letting me cover your beautiful wedding. Foodbuzz, thank you for letting me be a part of the 24,24,24 fun!
Happy New Year, everybody! Cheers! *hiccup* opps, Yam Sengggg!!!! *hiccup*...where am I?
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