Leftover Ham & Cheese Failure Pizza

There a pack of ham and a pack of cheddar cheese in my fridge.
Athena left the pack of beautiful ham when she made a refreshing appetizer of sweet melon and ham.

Seeing those two ingredients, I planned to just scatter them on pieces of fluffy bread and eat them as they were, and sing unto them, their glory (or something to that effect). Unfortunately, I had to have a pair of itchy hands who always wanted to try making my own pizza crust. I think you could probably smell a disaster coming your way.

I searched for a pizza crust recipe that sounds as doable as "pizza crust recipe for idiots" and found something that looked manageable.

Clearly, I overestimated myself.

Knowing me, it was probably not the recipe's problem, it should've been me.

The crust turned rock hard, you could hear us trying to bite into it.
Crackling doesn't even begin to describe how hard it was.
It was harder that sous chef's stubborn head, and was even harder than my feet's callouses.

Either my instant yeast wasn't bubbly enough or I must have overbaked my pizza as I waited for it to turn golden brown (it never did)....whatever happened, I shall try again with another recipe and try to do better at following directions. Meanwhile, let me put pizza hut on speed dial.

Pssst, the crust turned so hard...the phrase "between rock and a hard place", from now on shall be changed to "between rock and rita's pizza crust".